This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional. 

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif.– On Mar. 30, 2025, Los Alamitos High School fired a large number of their janitors due to a lack of productivity. The floors at LAHS have been astonishingly clean without the use of brooms or cleaning supplies. What is the cause of this phenomenon? 

Well, it seems as though a fashion trend is to blame for the mass layoffs. Students at LAHS have been regularly wearing jeans that are too large for them, causing the pants to drag along the floor as they walk from class to class, collecting dirt and sweeping it into small piles around the school. 

While this practice often leads to torn and dirtied ends of the jeans, students refuse to wear smaller jeans, claiming that it is an important aspect of their “style.” Additionally, many students claim that they enjoy feeling as though they are doing a good deed by keeping the school clean. 

“I wear baggy jeans every day, I did not know what a positive impact they would have on our school,” said Jean Sweeperson, a junior at LAHS. 

This phenomenon, started by a simple fashion trend, has come so far that the school has begun giving kids community service hours for helping keep the campus clean. Additionally, clubs like the California Scholarship Federation have thought about granting people 3 points every day that they wear baggy jeans. 

Incentivising students in this manner has led to an influx in the amount of students wearing extremely large jeans. Students have also begun buying larger and larger jeans, enabling them to have a larger sweep radius as they roam campus. Local stores have stopped selling jeans with under a 25-inch circumference as they are no longer desirable to customers. 

“Last week, we sold the last few skinny jeans we had; those will be discontinued until further notice. Baggy jeans are the future,” said Levi Strauss, an employee at a popular jean store. 

All in all, the unexpected positive impact of the baggy jeans trend has caused them to spread beyond what was anticipated.