This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional.
LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. – For the past few years, people have seen the downfall of popular luxury fashion icons such as Gucci, Chanel, Nike and other brands. Why? Because their profits are being dwarfed by small businesses that lead the latest obsession with overpriced thrifted clothes and home goods.
Instead of seeking out spendy trendy items from brands like Urban Outfitters or Lululemon, people today are going crazy over pieces like a simple vintage jacket that is still just as overpriced.
“I think this trend definitely reveals what we value as a society; instead of going with clean, new items, we prefer a unique thrifted style that still costs as much as every other popular brand,” said renowned fashion expert Andy Sachs.
What’s more is that today’s society has also fallen in love with shopping for shabby antique items in thrift stores, from cracked and dirty ornate heirloom dishware, suspicious-looking adorable tchotchkes and even unstable charming furniture pieces. ,all of which are still just as expensive as if they were brand new.
“I spent half of my savings I bought a cute bookshelf from a local antique store because it fit the aesthetic of my room even though it is falling apart,” said Los Alamitos High School student Ann Teak.
At the end of the day, it’s all about supporting unreasonably-priced local businesses and loving the hand-me-down vintage clothes we get to wear.
“I like wearing thrifted sweaters even though they cost me a fortune because they have unique colors and patterns,” said LAHS student Vin Tedge.
