This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional.

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. — Debra Dispute, a mom of a Los Alamitos High School student, was fined and had her driver’s license revoked by Los Alamitos Police Department after she dangerously merged in between two cars and collided with another parent dropping off their child. No fatalities were reported. The LAPD is fed up with the ignorance of the parents that are dropping their children at school in the morning. Having to monitor and keep an eye on drivers that are constantly causing a ruckus like a bunch of children can be extremely exhausting.

“At least I get to meet my weekly quota pulling over all these incompetent parents,” said Officer Stan Still from  LAPD.

Studies show that 187% of parents in the state of California under the age of 44 are among the most reckless drivers on the road apart from teenage drivers. Most of them drive erratically because of a very contagious disease scientists call chronic-road-rage disease. This primarily stems from constant agitation whilst driving on the road and interacting with other drivers. In the midst of the drop off zone of chaos, the students walking down the sidewalk are also affected, fearing for their lives as they hear the deafening blare of horns coming from every directions.

“Every time I walk down that street I feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise out of pure fear,” said LAHS student Nicole Williams.

The LAPD is working on enforcing the drop off area and trying to have everything calm and under control for the safety of everybody at the school. It is expected that reckless driving rates should be going down after the first two months of this new strategy. Hopefully change will be the hero of this unpredictable predicament.