LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. – You know them well. They perk up when they hear the word matcha, brag about their Laufey and Beabadobee vinyl and use every opportunity to show off their Labubus (on their carabiner and Laufey tote bag, of course) to crowds of unsuspecting women.
At Los Alamitos High School, all grades engage in some version of the performative male trend, from the male Laufey and Beabadoobee sweatshirts dominating the campus, to guys strolling from class to class with matcha and coffee from the matcha place by school Chai Master stored in their tote bag, wired headphones sticking out of their pocket.
“It’s masculinity as performance; it’s an identity built for approval instead of authenticity,” said Doctor of Psychology, licensed clinical psychologist and Time for Therapy CEO, Kyler Shumway.
A performative male is a stereotypical man who participates in female-dominated trends, such as music, drinks and even Labubus in an attempt to be seen as cool and niche to women, ultimately to attract them.
The performative male is clearly popular but is it a sexist social media trend?
Feminism in the 21st century is under siege by sexist social media trends, including the girl math and trad wife phenomena. All of these trends reinforce classic gender roles, where a woman must conform to standards of femininity and subtle patriarchal values.
“So many TikTok terms and trends are just enforcing the patriarchy but pretending it is feminism,” said an anonymous LAHS student.
Clearly, some social spaces think that the performative male trend is one of these toxic fads over time.
“Is the ‘performative male’ trend becoming a bit too much? When the performative male trend first started, I laughed a few times at the memes and thought it was funny. As time went on, though, it seemed less like criticizing men who co-opt things to manipulate women (which happens on both sides of the aisle) and instead just making fun of someone’s interests,” said u/AdventurousBall4611 on r/AskFeminists.
Online TikTokers dictate that the performative male is becoming another one of these toxic and subtly sexist trends.
“The performative male trend is punishment for men exhibiting feminine traits,” said TikTok user @momopill.
On the site Men’s Health, professional BA psychologists claim that harmless trends like the performative male fad subtly downplay and hurt the feminist social movement. In fact, Annita Kate emphasizes the significant role the performative male trend has in secretly spreading patriarchal ideas.
Katee describes how these performative men end up being somewhat toxic, as people pretend or dress up in these interests. The idea that the performative male trend decreases masculinity is not the real issue but the biggest problem is that men are limited in what interests they can have.
Therefore, the trend damages feminism by secretly spreading patriarchal ideas, implying unhealthy stereotypes about masculinity and displaying social feminism as a trend. The trend first reinforces unhealthy ideas about how a man should act by implying that a man can only like feminine things, such as matcha, Labubus, literature and female artists, if they are trying to impress women. This unintentionally reinforces the idea that men should not like these feminine hobbies.
“If men are considered performative for liking feminine things, it makes it seem like men can’t like anything girly unless they are doing it for women’s approval,” said LAHS junior Bailey Baker.
It also brings up the issue of inauthenticity in this modern digital, AI-populated age, as the performative male trend continues to grow through AI, TikTok and ChatGPT.
It’s not only feminine objects being attacked, according to New York influencer @gabesco. Gabe Escobar, who has posted various videos of “performative books to read for men” and “a performative male guide for literature,” said in a TikTok that he often gets called performative for his interests.
“I think the whole performative male thing is getting out of hand. I posted this on my story the other day. I was actually talking about my coffee and where I got it, but I was reading at the time so this is the photo I took. And I got so many comments…People are like you’re so performative,” said the social media influencer @gabesco on TikTok.
LAHS senior and first-place winner of LAHS’ performative male competition, Kai Rolland-Engel, likes the trend of a performative male. However, he does agree that sometimes it can be damaging for social media-obsessed men, who unconsciously internalize the stereotypes it enforces.
“Personally, I do think that the idea of a performative male is sexist because while a performative male is technically breaking male gender stereotypes he is also reinforcing female gender stereotypes. A performative male has interests in things that are considered conventionally feminine in order to appeal to conventionally feminine women,” said Rolland-Engel.
By restricting men from having these unusual hobbies, we further a culture of toxic masculinity, where feminine interests are restricted. This begins a continuous toxic cycle of misogyny by furthering the idea of male superiority, since masculine behavior is favored as being stronger and more powerful, in comparison to feminine interests.
Rolland-Engel reinforces this idea.
