This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional.

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. — Los Alamitos High School has multiple bathrooms across campus, where students can select to hang out with friends or enjoy the scent of the last person’s vape fumes. When bored in class, it is comforting for many students to know they can sneak their phone and wait the fast-paced seven minutes in the bathroom. Some students are even lucky enough to find a time to visit the bathroom at the same time as their friend “by coincidence.”

“I love the bathroom, especially when I need a break from class,” said Anita Bath, an LAHS super senior. “The different scents of flavored vapes in the corner stalls help calm me.” 

Not only do the bathrooms offer a social space, but they also serve as an artistic and creative area. Many students can find motivational messages on the walls, along with plenty of school-appropriate sketches ranging from educational images to words of encouragement! If students are interested in inspecting more of the wonderful artistic presentations on the bathroom wall, Snapchat has plenty of pictures to look at. 

“I think the drawing and painting class is overrated, especially when there’s a canvas right in front of you,” said Amy Stake, LAHS junior. “All of my drawings can be found in the middle stall, next to the motivational messages saying unique insults you’ve never heard before!” 

The different foods and toiletries thrown across the bathroom floor only add to the charming look the bathroom gives off. The amount of used toiletries in the bathroom can often be larger than the number of kids skipping class to go to the bathroom, which is an amazing score to beat!

“I’ve seen more used toilet paper on the ground than toilet paper on the roll,” said Sally Andrews, a LAHS super senior.

Students who want more time in the vape-scented stalls just have to wait for their teachers to look away before switching the tab from bathroom (seven minutes) to Media Center or Wellspace (sixty minutes) on the walking-pass checkout system. This easy switch prevents teachers from knowing when students left or came back due to the computer taking away the sense of time.

The LAHS bathrooms have plenty to offer, from sneaking a break from class time to admiring timeless classical art pieces made by students. There is no place like the cherry and cotton candy vape-flavored smell of the school bathrooms.