This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional.

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. — From what was believed to be a magical health potion, an alarming number of people are turning to the hospital. Doctors have confirmed that people are turning green as a result of excessive amounts of matcha intake. The whisked tea powder that is known for its heart, brain and weight health benefits is taking a turn with this horrible side effect.

“This is not just a light green hue on the skin. People are coming in left and right with lime, forest, olive and sea green,” said Dr. Maya Hill, a researcher at The Institute of Color Changing Things.

According to research groups, the high levels of chlorophyll (the chemical responsible for the green color in plants) that comes from the dried tea leaves are seeping into the bloodstreams of those who consume more than three matcha drinks a day. Those who have more than five cups a day are currently at the highest risk. 

“At first, I hated the earthy taste of matcha and only drank it because it looks cute, but I read on a blog a month ago all of these crazy health benefits of drinking matcha,” Los Alamitos High School senior Sally Evergreen said.

“I got so addicted to it; I stopped putting the powder into the drink and would just scoop it right into my mouth,” she added. “I’m about as green as it gets! The doctors are running tests but are still unsure about what will happen to me.”

The benefits of the tea-derived drink are currently being investigated; many believe in its capabilities of energy boosting, clearer skin and making their outfit look more indie. For now, doctors recommend drinking matcha in moderation and limiting the consumption to one drink a day.

Sales in foods such as cucumbers, avocados, kale and broccoli are declining as fear spreads that they too may turn consumers green. At this time, young people trying to be cool are coming together to help each other through the unknowns of this matcha madness.