This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional. 

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. –  Teenage fashion just keeps on evolving. First, there were bows, animal prints and Ed Hardy designs. Currently, the hot high school trend is my new favorite: sticks and leaves. If you see someone looking like they just came from the forest, know that they are the epitome of fashion: Woodsy Camo. I like calling it sticks and leaves better, but, whatever it is, it’s trending.

“You get extra points if it’s polyester,” Los Alamitos High School student Quincy Smith. “And when you pair it with the dustiest-looking jeans you have with some Uggs, you’ll look so tuff, trust.”

This forest mess-looking design is on baggy pants, hoodies, shirts and pretty much anything teens wear. You know that the students are fashion creatures if they would be un-spottable in the deep depths of a dirty jungle. This must be why it’s called Woodsy Camo.

“I was walking in the park, and when I looked beneath my feet, there lay my inspiration: some dirt, sticks and leaves. I was awestruck by the beauty and aesthetically pleasing look of it,” the creator of this trend, John Johnson, said.

“I instantly took pictures and told my designers that I needed my clothes to look like this pronto,” he added. “From then on, I knew that this design would take over all of the teens Southern California.”

 Some might say that this design is random and weird. They might wonder why people think sticks and leaves are being incorporated into outfits, but they probably just don’t understand fashion. I mean, who doesn’t like sticks and leaves? They are crunchy and fun to step on. Get in the know, Griffins. If everybody’s wearing it, it must be cool.