This article is SATIRE. Quotes, attributions and facts are fictional.
LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. — Los Alamitos High School seniors expressed disinterest in attending and sitting through their hours-long graduation ceremony on June 5 at Dignity Health Sports Complex. Instead, the class of 2025 is the first to send Meta humanoid robots to receive their diplomas at graduation.
“I don’t see the point in going to graduation in person,” graduate Ben Lyon said. “Listening to 700 names read is boring and a waste of time. I don’t even know most of these people! Why go when I can send my avatar, Alpha?”
Wearing Meta’s latest Orion augmented reality glasses, students will experience graduation from the comfort of their bedrooms, wearing T-shirts and pajama pants instead of caps and gowns. Orion allows them to enter the Dignity Health Sports Complex, virtually recreated in real-time through the eyes of their avatars.
“This is so much better than the live stream of graduation on YouTube that the school has done in previous years,” LAHS’ computer science teacher, Mr. Doe, said.
The digital space includes holograms of fellow graduates, and Orion will save photos captured within the augmented reality. Thus, students will have real, sentimental pictures to commemorate this significant educational milestone.
However, some seniors opted out of an asynchronous graduation. The class of 2025’s valedictorian, Noey Lott, will attend graduation in person to give her speech.
“I asked Chat GPT to write my speech for me,” Lott said. “Now, I have plenty of time to work on my Insta post about graduation.”
Katie Arnoult • Apr 1, 2025 at 8:45 pm
I wonder what my graduation robot will look like next year… This is such a great story, Bella!
Jaya Eapen • Apr 1, 2025 at 6:35 pm
Bella, this was so funny! I loved the puns in the names. Isn’t the school implementing this at graduation this year?
Ella Suos • Apr 1, 2025 at 12:42 pm
This is so creepy! I love it