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Staying mindful of the ‘demure’ trend

This TikTok-famous lingo is leaving some viewers in the dark, so it’s time to bring its true nature to light
Demure: the quintessentially feminine and endlessly popular movement dominating the world's social media feed.
Demure: the quintessentially feminine and endlessly popular movement dominating the world’s social media feed.
Maleah Fennessey, Canva

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. — On Aug. 2, rising TikTok star Jools Lebron (@joolieannie) gazed into the camera as she showed her viewers the makeup look she typically wears to work. This daily look gives her a gentle, innocent appearance, which Lebron emphasized is her secret to acing interviews and keeping it classy on the job. 

“See how I do my makeup for work?” Lebron said in her video. “Very demure. Very mindful.”

Something about this phrase found it stuck in her 2.2 million (and counting) followers’ minds. 50 million views and 4.4 million likes later, her words have become a viral sensation. Ultimately, this video gave way to the “mindful, cutesy and demure” trend, the quintessentially feminine and endlessly popular movement dominating the world’s social media feed.

Despite how much the video has been circulating, the word is rare enough in serious conversation for many trend-savvy Griffins to be in the dark about what it means.

“As an English teacher, if I was like ‘what is the definition of demure’? I don’t think (students) would know,” said Mrs. Marriott, who hears the term from her sophomores and juniors.

It’s the truth; a poll distributed to Los Alamitos High School students found 36% of students overall could not define “demure,” while an additional 28% only learned its meaning after the trend exposed them to it. So what does this new buzzword mean?

“In the context, I would think that what they’re trying to say is very coy, feminine and very modest,” Mrs. Marriott said.

Officially, according to Merriam-Webster, demure is a synonym for meek and chaste and is defined as “affectedly modest, reserved, or serious.” 

But according to Lebron, anything can be demure, if one does it right. Manicures, shopping, getting dressed for any occasion, and even getting off a plane are labeled “demure” in her countless viral videos. In Lebron’s world, this word has become synonymous with being feminine, delicate and tactful. Her expanding base of followers, nicknamed “Divas,” mirror her energy, agree that her actions are “mindful, cutesy and demure” and laugh at the videos in the comments, seeming to pick up on something any casual viewer will feel left out of. Yet, some would argue that even Lebron’s most devoted followers lack a certain understanding of her words. 

Despite its notoriety, the demure trend has become dissociated enough from the word’s meaning that it almost changed definitions altogether. The word is now nearly synonymous with the trend and is more popular than ever. Some say it’s become a vocal tic, which young people spout on impulse after hearing it’s trending. 

“It happens a lot, especially with the new terms, like the word ‘skibidi’? I have no idea what that means, but people say it!” said LAHS student Christopher Pagan.

On the demure phenomenon

Open TikTok, and it’s more than likely that demure is everywhere. It’s not just Lebron’s anymore, but a new aspect of online culture, becoming popular “audios,” upbeat dance remixes and countless videos, sarcastic or not. One will find the word reaching Instagram, too, and peppering conversations amongst friends, mostly girls who embrace the term’s cutesy atmosphere. It’s a phenomenon that’s changed the way we speak and how we think about language. 

The trend has been so momentous that on Sept. 4, Lebron registered to trademark “very mindful, very demure” for use in advertising campaigns. Multiple corporations have caught onto the marketing power of these words, with companies ranging from OGX conditioner to real estate company Zillow offering her lucrative sponsorships. Even NASA used demure in an ad campaign, ensuring that social media novices are bound to catch wind of the trend, too. For viewers, demure may be just a fresh hit of dopamine to add excitement to their scrolling.

What does it mean for us?

Some would say that “demure” is all in good fun, but other online communities glean a deeper, more serious subtext from the trend.  

Multiple social media posts denounce the term as annoying or overused, but others view it as a step back for feminism. Saying women should be modest and respectful on the regular, they say, is an unrealistic expectation that pushes them into patriarchal norms. By their logic, demure’s popularity indicates a resurgence of the traditional feminine values society has left behind. While Lebron told a CBS interview that demure is “obviously a joke,” it seems to be one the public missed.

As a makeup artist, Lebron’s insistence that she doesn’t doesn’t do green cut crease eyeshadow for work is steeped in sarcasm; she’s done exactly that, and frequently wears the extreme looks she claims to despise. One of her video, during which she stated having food poisoning, is demure is the most solid proof that she’s joking to date. Though some of her comments may seem to tear down other women, Lebron is making fun of herself and crafting a spoof of the hyperfeminine influencers that emphasize being “ladylike” above all else. For Lebron, feeling “mindful, cutesy and demure” is more of a fun, humorous activity than an act of superiority. And perhaps for other women and femmes, this practice could help them appreciate the small joys of being feminine and create a new online culture.

“I believe that social media is a great tool, and things like (demure), as long as they’re understandable and able to be contextualized, I think they could be very good things,” Pagan said. 

Will demure endure?

Ultimately, a trend is only a trend because it has an expiration date. So how long will it take for demure to fizzle out? 

“(Trends) kind of (spread) and the evolve,” Pagan said. “I don’t think it’ll fizzle out or just go unoticed.”

Considering demure’s popularity right now, yes, it’s likely it will continue to change forms and remain in the spotlight. Yet, as with TikTok trends past, it is inevitable that a fresher trend will come along to replace it. Until then, social media mavens can enjoy “mindful, cutesy and demure” content both satirizing and celebrating femininity.

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